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Do You Obsess Over Your Features?

Mon, 07/28/2008 - 5:00am by bellasugar
1,021 Views - 33 comments

Over eggs and coffee at a girly brunch this weekend, one of my pals confessed that the asymmetry of her face made her feel less beautiful. She went to see a doctor who told her about a surgery that could modify and balance out her jaw structure, but it would result in a three-week recovery period. She opted out of the procedure, but has compensated for her "flaw" by only being photographed on the left side of her face, by using makeup to contour her jaw, and by accentuating her eyes (her favorite feature).

This conversation, plus the news that SJP had her famous mole removed got me thinking more and more about my own so-called imperfections. It also got me thinking about the parts of my face that I feel are the most distinguishing. Do you ever obsess about the way you look, or do you love yourself as you are?

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33 Comments Add a Comment

  • BloodyFuFu's picture
    BloodyFuFu
    1

    I have no problem admitting that I grew into my features like everyone told me I would. That doesn't stop me from thinking that my nose could use some improvement though. I have a deviated septum, born with it, and when I put my fingers on the bridge of my nose it has hard corners. I still think I'll end up doing a little shave off of my nose when I get my septum and sinus issues fixed.

    23 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • bonchicbongenre's picture
    bonchicbongenre
    2

    I believe that one's facial quirks or "imperfections" are what makes them beautiful. I abhor the idea of cosmetic surgery. To me, a perfect face is boring, especially now that anyone can buy it with enough money. I'd take Owen Wilson and his crooked nose over Chace Crawford and his cookie-cutter looks anyday. But hey, to each their own.

    23 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • verily's picture
    verily
    3

    I don't blame SJP for removing that mole. I had a similar flesh-colored mole a little further down on my chin and it grew hairs (obsessive plucking ftw)! You remember the Wicked Witch of the West? It was that mole and I HATED it. When I finally got the chance, I had the thing removed.

    That was the only feature I really obsessed about. Once I had it removed, I felt freed. My face isn't the ideal: round face, small eyes, straight nose with a rounded tip. But I'm okay with that...keeps me looking young longer and all the big runway models look really manly with their crazy square jaws anyway.

    23 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • gabiushka's picture
    gabiushka
    4

    I like the way I look, everyone is unique and have the features that work for them, nature is wise.

    23 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • carhornsinapril's picture
    carhornsinapril
    5

    i think that everyone has a feature that they're unhappy with. i spent a lot of time hating my nose when i was younger, but i've made peace with it. i'm happy to have a nose at all. Smiling

    23 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • gigill's picture
    gigill
    6

    It's easy to get caught up in the game of obsessing over your appearance and not liking what you see in the mirror, but sometimes I just take a look around and realize, "hey, it could be worse"! It works every time. Smiling

    23 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • fleurfairy's picture
    fleurfairy
    7

    I have a somewhat asymetical face also. I do have a "good side" and a "bad side". But I don't obsess over it. And I do sometimes want a nose job, but I know there's too much of a chance I could end up looking completely different like Jennifer Grey. So I take what God has given me and improve upon it with makeup.

    23 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • brittanyk's picture
    brittanyk
    8

    I have a really weird shaped nose, the middle is the widest part, I can't really describe it. Sometimes it bothers me when I look at pictures, it really just depends on the angle. The other thing on my face that really bothers me is that my eyes are like different sizes and my one eye lid goes lower. It's so tiny that you would never notice it unless you were staring at my face for 15 minutes trying to figure out what was "wrong". Sometimes it bothers me, but for the most part I realize I can't really change it, so I won't stress over it.

    23 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • Jude C's picture
    Jude C
    9

    When I was a teenager, I definitely obsessed over imagined flaws. I'm totally in love with myself now, though.

    23 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • krrn's picture
    krrn
    10

    i agree with bonchicbongenre. the most beautiful people are the ones that look different. but for some reason i don't hold that idea for myself. if people saw how much i look at myself in the mirror they would think i loved myself but really i'm picking apart every flaw. my biggest problem is that i have a gap in my front teeth. sometimes i love it because it makes me different and it's the one thing about me that hasn't changed since i was a baby. but other times i look at people's perfect teeth and get jealous.

    23 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • Francoisehardly's picture
    Francoisehardly
    11

    I actually use to think my nose was bigger than what I recently realized it actually is. Actually it's kind of small. But anyway, I agree that "perfection" can be so boring and so dull. The celebrities considered the most perfect looking are the ones who bore me the most with their appearance, not that they even need to care whether I consider them attractive or not. I don't actually dislike my appearance most of the time when I look in the mirror. I don't even know if I have anything someone would suggest should be "fixed". Sometimes I feel icky when I look in the mirror though. That's what red lipstick is for.

    23 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • emalove's picture
    emalove
    12

    No, not at all...as I've gotten older, I've definitely learned to accept and love myself as I am. I'm not perfect by any means, but I do love some of my features and am overall content with who I am and the way I look. Everyone has "ugly" days now and then, it does no good to sit and obsess over things that you wish were different.

    23 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • designergirl's picture
    designergirl
    13

    I wish my nose was a bit smaller and less bumpy, but there's no way I'm ever going to get it fixed. Perfection is boring, anyways.

    23 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • TrendyTurtle's picture
    TrendyTurtle
    15

    My face is a little asymmetrical too. I'm definitely conscious about it. I don't know what I could/would do about it though. I was hoping I would "get over it" or "grow to love it" as I got older, but I'm not.

    23 weeks 3 days ago Report Comment
  • sw33tlovin's picture
    sw33tlovin
    16

    ugh. i hate my nose and how i have no cheek bones. and my skin is the worst. but work with what you have, right?

    23 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • carrothead's picture
    carrothead
    17

    I love my facial features. It took a long time for me to appreciate my body as a whole, but Ihave finally come to love my own style and appearance!!!

    23 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • neonbee's picture
    neonbee
    18

    I don't like how I look just because I don't look like anyone around me. But I'm learning to appreciate how I look.

    23 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • iRose's picture
    iRose
    19

    I used to obsess over my features when I was a teen, wishing to be like the other pretty girls in school. Now that I'm older I'm glad that I have the features I was born with : almond eyes, small nose and full lips, they seem to be working for me, and the same pretty popular girls now dont seem as great as they were before.

    23 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • Bella Donna's picture
    Bella Donna
    20

    I obsess over the state of my zits, of how a few innocuous whiteheads decide to get friendly and come together into a freaking huge pimple. Or why a seemingly pain-free smooth patch of skin morphs into a monster cyst overnight! Few years later I'll have wrinkles join this party (& with rising healthcare costs) how awesome would it be!! Kiss
    Golden Ratio blah & symmetric.. not, but I definitely am preciously asymmetric, of unique quirk that's impossible to reproduce! Smiling

    23 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • Bella Donna's picture
    Bella Donna
    21

    Thankfully, it's ceasefire between me and my nose on a roundish square face of this large head that rests on a tiny toony petite body. the macroscopic view has turned micro, zooming right onto zits (which, funnily, I've been sprouting in my mid twenties & worse than I'd in teen-years!)

    23 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • Ellenora's picture
    Ellenora
    22

    I love the skin I'm in. I think imperfections are beautiful. I still breakout and I'll obsess, but I don't start crying, screaming and being pissed off at them. I know it's part of life. I have my bad days too, but 98.9% of the time, I love the skin and body I'm in. I've overcome too much in terms of physical, neurological, emotional and psychological disabilities or problems from years of therapy to not accept me as I am. It seems pointless to me to obsess over things I can't change, even with surgery, when I could be enjoying the life I have right now, acne, disabilities and all.

    23 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • Whiplash's picture
    Whiplash
    23

    I have a largish nose and eyebrows that cannot be tamed. I learned to embrace them over time.

    Of course, now that I've gained weight, my whole face has changed shape. It's so full now, and I don't like it. But if I lose weight, I hope it'll change back. I do kind of obsess over that now.

    23 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • chiquita25's picture
    chiquita25
    24

    I've always disliked my nose. I feels it's a little fatter than i'd like it to be. But I don't think i'd change it, because the end results may look unatural. It's one thing to shave a bump of the nose like Ashley Simpson did. But to completely change the shape of it? I'd be too scared. I'm just trying to learn to accept my looks and be happy with what I have. Just like a previous poster wrote, it could be worse!

    23 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • avocado_seed's picture
    avocado_seed
    25

    I don't really understand the obsession with noses.. It's not something I really notice about people unless they are abnormally large or crooked, but they definitely give your face character..

    There are things I wish I could change about myself, but overall, I'm pretty happy with the way I look.. It definitely took me a long time to accept myself and grow into my looks, though.

    23 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • italianblonde's picture
    italianblonde
    26

    I think we all have little things we'll always obsess over. It's funny because the 'imperfections' people don't like about themselves are the ones people like most about them. My sister hates the mole between her lip and nose, and my friend hates her 'crooked' smile, but those are my favorite things about them and things that I distinguish them by.

    23 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • sugarplumfairy's picture
    sugarplumfairy
    27

    i totally agree that perfect is boring. i have serious issues with my looks but don't obsess over it like i used to, cause it just upsets me and ruins my day, i just dont think about it, there is so much more to life to think about than oneself. a psychologist once told me something, that i think about often, most people dont care about what you look like, they are too busy worrying about what they look like. so true, if you think about it.

    23 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • leeluvfashion's picture
    leeluvfashion
    28

    I do not obsess for hours, however for a little bit (15 minutes.) I'm convinced my right eye is noticeable larger than my left; and that people will notice that my left front tooth tends to lean abit to the right side. I need to learn to accept it and move on.

    23 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • acyl's picture
    acyl
    29

    I had a friend who recently got a nose job (she had "the bump", like Ashley). I mentioned I'd kinda like to have one and she was surprised! My nose has always seemed to big to me but to others it looks normal on my face.

    I recently learned everyone has some asymmetry to their face. If our faces were perfectly balanced we'd look wrong. (Have you seen those pics where they mirror one side of the face onto the other side? Looks wierd!)

    23 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • lms's picture
    lms
    30

    I like all of my features but my face is very asymmetrical. I have a side that I prefer in pictures as well. I get compliments quite regularly, so I don't obsess over it. My husband likes to tease me that my face is crooked, and I just tell him that I am beautiful...crooked face and all!!

    23 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • lovelie's picture
    lovelie
    31

    What a refreshing post....it's interesting to hear about everyone's fixations. I think we all have our bad days and things that we don't particularily care for about ourselves. I definitely agree though that perfection is boring and hard to be around. It is the imperfections that others have that make them easy to be around, therefore..more interesting. I know I wouldn't have a clue what to say around someone who is completely 100% perfect...we'd have nothing to relate to.

    23 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • Isista's picture
    Isista
    32

    I know there is room for improvement, but mostly because I still have oily skin and wouldn't mind losing a few. But I'd go insane if I stared at the mirror for that long. I think I look just fine the way I am.

    23 weeks 2 days ago Report Comment
  • LilGlamDiva's picture
    LilGlamDiva
    33

    I once read in a magazine, "throw away your magnifying mirror, nobody gets that close!"

    Best advice ever. I like makeup and dressing up to feel pretty, but I'm confident in myself no matter what small blemishes or whatever I have.... confidence and beauty is more than flawless skin

    22 weeks 6 days ago Report Comment

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